Words Can Really Hurt Me...

Hello readers! Sorry it has been a while, I am so glad to be back. This month at The Well we will be going through a series called Zip It. Week one was about gossip. Who hasn’t experienced gossip? I think it is safe to say that everyone has in some way.

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” James 1:26

From the above verse, we see that if you are unable to control the words coming from your mouth, then your religion is worthless. Gossip comes in many forms:

• Prayer request gossiper: rather than saying “Heather has a lot going on and she needs prayer” the prayer request gossiper tells what is going on in Heather’s life.

• ‘But you gotta love them’ gossiper: talking bad about someone completely bashing them and their character, then after wards saying, “but you gotta love them.”

• I just don’t know when to shut up gossiper: this one is pretty self explanatory, someone knows information and just does not know when to keep their mouth shut.

• I’m just telling the truth gossiper: just because it is the truth, does not mean that it needs to be spread

We live in a society that is covered with gossip. It is in the magazines, on television, it is everywhere. Here is something to note, “Talking about everyone else, probably means that you are too scared to talk about yourself.” The tongue is a powerful thing. With that being said the power can be both good and bad, Like most things, there is a good side and a dark side to the power of the tongue. It is all in how you use it. There is a saying that goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is so wrong and whoever first came up with that was full of bologna. I believe the saying should go a little more like “Sticks and stones may break my bones, and words can really hurt me.” Not all words can hurt, but words have the ability to destroy. James 3:5-6 “In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” Pastor Travis used the analogy of a pillow fight being like gossip. With the pillow in hand, there is a sense of addicting power. This is true for information that you hold and knowing something most don’t, you have a power. Reality: gossip is fun. But truth is gossip starts as a conversation that turns someone’s life and character into a mess.

With gossip all around us, what is the answer to avoiding it? Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” The answer is to stop talking ABOUT people and start talking TO people. Let only words of encouragement and help come from your mouth. Let your words be directed at the needs of the person you are talking to. We need to be a community that is different in the sense that we do not gossip as it has killed and divided churches. We need to be a community focused on intentionally helping others rather than innocently or deceitfully destroying others. We must learn to tame the tongue and make things right with those that we may have sparked or fanned the flame that has been destruction to their lives.

The only way to change your words is to change your heart. For the words you speak reflect that which is going on in your heart.

Temptation

Last night at The Well, we started a new series called, “I am…because He did.”  One of the first things we talked about hit me kind of hard. The slide read, “Many struggle to fully trust God because we don’t think He really understands what we’re going through.” As much as I don’t want to say it, this statement rings true in my life. Trust is something that I struggle with and is something that in my walk with God, I have gotten better at. I am slowly growing to trust God and His plans for me. Although I may not always understand why things have to be the way they are, I know that it will only make me stronger as a person and in my relationship with Him.  We serve a god who is close and personal, He sent His only son to live as we do. And as a human, Jesus encountered the same things that we do. This includes temptation, our topic of the night.  Luke 4:1-2 “Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.”(NIV)

There are three truths about temptation; the first is that it is inevitable.  Temptation always knows where you are, there is no hiding from it. In terms of temptation and sin it is remember that sin is not in the attraction, but in the action.

The second truth about temptation is that it grows. All sin starts as an idea. When the idea is left alone and not dealt with, it grows from your head to your heart. That is when the idea becomes sin.  You must guard your heart.

The final truth about temptation is that it doesn’t have to win. When there is temptation, get away. In Genesis 39:10 we read, “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.”(NIV) Joseph removed himself from the temptation of Potiphar’s wife. This is the example we should follow, do not be near the thing that tempts you for you cannot be near and not end up in it. After getting away, get aligned. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 reads, “or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (NIV) There’s no anointing without affliction. No throne without a thorn. Pain forces us to depend on God instead of ourselves.

Temptation is inevitable, but being defeated is optional. God has not abandoned you and it is in your weakness that He makes you strong.

The Jesus Test

We live in a society that has a spiritual buffet. A place with plates representing each religion and it is believed by 43% of born again Christians that all plates lead to the same God. This week at The Well we took a look at 4 of those religions and put them to the Jesus test. Do they pass? Or do they fail? In the culture we live in, there is emphasis on being politically correct all the time. When looking at this topic, the goal is to be theologically correct, not politically correct. Also remember this is based from the Bible, not any one’s agenda except for God’s.


There are two questions to look at first. Question number one is “What does Jesus say about himself?” Throughout the book of John, Jesus tells that He is the Truth, the Light, the Way. Question two: “What do other religions say about Jesus? Do they pass the Jesus test?”

The second largest religion in the world is Islam, with 1.2 billion followers. They like Christians are monotheistic and have roots leading to Christianity and Judaism. There is a belief that when you die, your good works are weighed against the bad to determine your salvation. This leaves absolutely no security in the after like. We find the contradiction to this in Ephesians 2:8-9 “…salvation is not a reward for the good things we’ve done…” They do not believe that Jesus was crucified. The truth is here though, that there is not only Biblical proof, but historical proof. There is belief that Jesus is a profit and the profits cannot tell a lie and nothing can alter the words of God.
Conclusion: Jesus is not Lord, but a prophet. And you will make it to Heaven if your good deeds outweigh the bad.
Jesus test: FAIL.

Although Mormonism is not as worldwide, it is a very dominant presence locally. The religion was founded by Joseph Smith with talk of angels and gold plates. There is a belief that one day you can become a God. Look at Isaiah 44:6-8 and find that the Bible states differently. They believe that you can earn salvation by your good deeds. They believe you are forgiven until you sin again. Once you repent, you cannot commit the same sin again, and you are held accountable for former sins. We, as Christians, serve a God who is forgiving, and forgetting of those very sins.
Conclusion: Salvation is earned by good works and you can become a God.
Jesus test: FAIL. There is nothing here about God and His love.

Hinduism is the 4th largest religion in the world. There is no founder known. The religion is the most open and accepting of them all. There is a belief that “all roads led to the top of the mountain.” Hinduism has belief in polytheism (multiple gods). These multiple gods are impersonal and do not want to know you. The God we serve as Christians loves us each individually and knew us before we were even born. There is a belief that the actions you commit determine your future and it would take 6,800,000 lifetimes to cancel the evil to then be at peace and have salvation. In James 4:14 we see that we have one short shot at life.
Conclusion: Jesus is A way, not THE way. And Karma leads to salvation.
Jesus test: FAIL.

The fourth and final religion we looked at is Buddhism. This is enlightenment. There is no creator or God in the beliefs, only Buddha’s, or enlightened ones. The main belief is that Nirvana (salvation) can only be obtained via the eight fold path, which is as follows.

1. Right view

2. Right resolve

3. Right speech

4. Right action

5. Right livelihood

6. Right effort

7. Right mindfulness

8. Right concentration

Conclusion: There is no creator and salvation is obtained only via the Eight Fold Path.
Jesus test: FAIL.



There is a hint of God’s truth in each of the religions and Christians can learn a few things from them, such as the good deeds. But the enemy works by giving you just enough truth to make you comfortable and enough lies to keep you from Heaven and eternity spent with God.

Hope everyone has an incredible week. Remember the God’s Grace is a free gift, and it is only through Him and this gift that you can have eternal life.

Abortion

I just want to start this week’s blog off by saying that Worship last night was absolutely amazing. Transit* Band is incredible!

Okay, back to business, week 3 of Elephant in the Room. The topic: Abortion. Fact is that there are 1,500,000 abortions that occur every year. That breaks down to an average of 3 abortions every minute. That number is insane. Please remember that as I talk about Travis’ message from last night, it is not his agenda, but God’s agenda. Breaking down the arguments to show how God feels about the issue.

The first argument that most pro-abortion/pro-choice is that life begins at birth. When reading Scripture, you will find that unborn or born it’s still a life in God’s eyes. An unborn child is never referred to as anything less than a human.  A baby is always considered distinct and separate from the mother.  God looks at people and sees someone not something, every time.

Second truth about abortion is that only God has the right to create and take life. To open the message, Travis gave the analogy of having a rich father who opens an account in your name that has all that you will ever need in your life. Someone then comes along and closes your account because they have the “right” to do so or you are too young to understand. God is the Father that has opened a FULL account for you in your name. Abortion is no different than someone closing the account on your behalf. 93% of abortions are for convenience, 3% for the child’s health, 3% for the mother’s health, and 1% for rape or incest. 0/4500 pregnancies are result of rape. So the argument that abortion is being used mostly for pregnancies due to rape is not necessarily valid. Rape is a violation of a person’s rights. Violation is forcing an action of someone without consent. In other words, abortion is violation. It is forcing an action (death) upon someone without consent.


There is no such thing as illegitimate children, just illegitimate parents. No matter what you have been told growing up, you are not an accident. Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart….” You were an idea in God’s heart before you were ever an idea in your parents’ head. Each of us has a God given purpose and it is important to remember that.

What now?
• Remember that if you have had an abortion, you can be forgiven. Also, stop reminding God of a sin that He has already forgotten.


• Live on purpose. God created each of us with an individual purpose. Live like it. That’s what He intended.


Hope all is well and everyone has an incredible week. Remember:

You were created BY God and FOR God.

Kingdom or kingdom: Which do you serve?

Last night at The Well we talked about Elephant in the Room number two: politics. When talking about Church and politics we focus on Matthew 6:9-10 “This, then, is how you should pray: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”


The first of the two truths looked at: it’s about Kingdom, not kingdom. Yes the same word, but there is a difference. The Kingdom with a capital K is the Kingdom of God. The second kingdom with a lower case k is the one that we live in on earth. Jesus came to the kingdom, not to better it, but to create and entirely new Kingdom. He made it possible for us to get glimpses of heaven and to focus of God’s Kingdom. It is important to remember that when the kingdom, not the Kingdom, is the source of your happiness, it will also be your source of greatest pain when it’s lost. Throughout the political world, there are some things that pass and others that don’t and when something doesn’t go the way we want, it will all still be okay because this isn’t it. Focus on the right Kingdom.

The second truth is that it’s about action, not politics. Jesus, not politics, changes people. As followers of Christ, we should be focused on God’s Kingdom and bringing it to earth. We should be showing His love to those around us. God’s agenda is to care about others. Government created programs because the Church dropped the ball. We are called to serve our community. Do not wait for the kingdom to make changed, be a part of the Kingdom and be a part of the solution. Be set apart from the rest and show God’s love by serving the community around you.

Remember that whether the policy passes or doesn’t pass, be a part of the solution.

God is amazing. Hope everyone has a fantastic rest of the week.

The Week of Hope

What is The Week of Hope?? A week to focus on our community and their needs.

“If what we are doing inside the church walls is having no effect on the streets we travelled to get there, then maybe we’re missing the point?” -Joel Houston of Hillsong United

The Week of Hope was put together by The Image Project to meet some of the needs of our community outside of the church walls. The week was started with the video documentary called iHeart, put together by Hillsong United. Throughout the week there are opportunities to volunteer at Phoenix Rescue Mission. Wednesday at The Well a Stock the Shelter concert was set up to collect donations of food, clothing, and other items needed to stock the shelves of the shelter. The night consisted of four different performances, each unique in its own way. The first was an acoustic set done by the beautiful ladies Meghan and Olivia. Next was Radio Drive By.  Then Jim did an acoustic set. And finally a local Christian hip hop group called OP.EX. What a great night full of music. During their set, OP.EX called Pastor Travis down to freestyle. Bringing him back to the days when he rapped. For those who missed it, or just want to see it again, I have included the video below.

Yes the night was full of great music and time spent with friends, but it is important to remember the reason for it: to show God’s love to our community and to meet a need for others, that we often take for granted.

Hope that all is well and everyone has a fantastic remainder of the week.

Sexy Elephant

For the month of March at The Well, we will be in a series called “Elephant in the Room.” The topic: those things everyone is thinking but no one is will to talk about. Pastor Travis will tackle the four toughest and most controversial topics in church. Week one was probably the toughest of the four topics: homosexuality. Last night was perhaps the most intense sermon at The Well to date, in a good way. As pointed out last night, we live in a society that likes to argue about everything. And in order to make any impact at all, we have to stop the arguing and start talking. This goes for any topic, talk do not argue.


Travis covered four questions that come up when discussing homosexuality in regards to God and the church. The first question is “How does God view sexuality?” The answer: Sex is not just a good thing, it is a God thing. God created sex and commanded Adam and Eve to have sex. However, it is important that although sex is a legitimate need, meeting that need in an illegitimate way is a sin. God created sex and gave us a way to meet that need, marriage.

That leads to question number two “How does God view marriage?” To answer this we look at Genesis 2:24 “that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” We were given this not only in Genesis, but also in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7. In the book of Leviticus, we are given our laws to follow. There were temporal and universal laws. One that is a universal is Leviticus 18:22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as a woman. It is a detestable sin.” There is argument that Jesus overturned the old law and that homosexuality is only discussed in the Old Testament. Both of these can be proven false through Scripture. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them” Matthew 5:17. Yes, Jesus brought change to some laws, those that were temporal, but He came to put flesh to the laws. And as far as the argument of homosexuality being only in the Old Testament, read Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Timothy 1:10. Some homosexuals will say “I was born this way.” I, like Travis said last night, believe you. As with anything else, though, you may not have chosen the temptation but you can choose whether you allow it to rule your life. This last sentence is important for all of us to read and comprehend because it does not apply just to sexuality, but all sin and temptations.

The next question, “Does this mean God hates homosexuals?” is one that although is a legit question from someone who does not know Christ, I find it to be a silly question for a Christian to ask. God has an overwhelmingly unimaginable amount of love for each of His children. We are His children and not one of us to too far, too broken, or too dirty for His love. God hates sin, but He loves sinners. The well known verse John 3:16 talks about the whole world, there is no disclaimer that homosexuals are not loved.

The fourth and final question is an important one for Christ followers, “How should Christians respond?” First thing is first, stop trying to win arguments. Second of all, love. Love them like Jesus loves you. It is important to remember that the remedy for homosexuality is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus cleanses you. And it is not their sexuality, but the lack of knowing God that will keep homosexuals from spending eternity in His presence. Isaiah 1:18 “’Come now, let’s settle this,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them white as wool.’”

God is incredible and His love is greater than we know.

"Heaven is for Real"

I am probably going to regret the lack of sleep, but after reading Heaven is for Real, sleep is not in my foreseeable future. Yes, I realize that I probably should not have started the book at 11:00 at night. Especially for the simple fact that if I find a good read I will not put it down until I have finished it or have absolutely no choice but to put it down. Let me start here by saying that I believe there is a reason for everything. Today I received a text from a dear friend asking if I would like to meet up and shop. I, of course, said yes. I mean what girl would pass up a chance to shop and spend time with a friend. So we set our plans and met inside Barnes & Noble. I had gotten there first so I got a coffee from Starbucks and started browsing. One of the first things that caught my eye was a bright yellow book with the title of Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back. I right away reached for the book and read the summary on the back. I was ready to start reading it right there. But instead I continued to browse and the first thing I did when my friend showed up, was led her to this book. She agreed that it looked to be a good read. So we headed out to the mall knowing that as we walk back through Barnes & Noble to leave, that book would be purchased. As soon as I got home and got things situated, I began my four hour reading session. (Like I said, I will not put a good book down until I finish it.) Heaven has always been one of those places that I am not too sure about. Yes, we are given descriptions of Heaven in the Bible but knowing that God’s power and grace is much greater than we can imagine leads me to assume that Heaven is also greater than we can imagine. In Colton’s story of his trip to Heaven, I got a little bit of a clearer image of what Heaven is like, although, I will never truly understand or picture it until I see it with my own two eyes. Colton Burpo was four years old when he had to go through an emergency appendectomy, and had come gravely close to dying. Without telling too much of the story, a few months after finally being able to leave the hospital, Colton and his family were on a trip to visit family when he shared the news of angels singing to him. This was the first thing that truly caught the attention of his parents. Other things that the young boy had said were brushed off as good Sunday school teaching (Todd Burpo is the pastor of Crossroads Wesleyan Church in Imperial, Nebraska) and the Bible stories read every night. Todd continues to share the information that his son had given that validated his trip to Heaven. The boy told of how he sat in Jesus’ lap and he described what Jesus looks like. This, for me, was incredible. There are so many different depictions of what Jesus looks like and Colton describes Him so human like. Because of his vivid detailing of Jesus, Todd and Sonja (Colton’s mom) asked Colton if different images of Jesus were accurate. It soon got to the point that instead of asking if the picture is correct, the question became, “What’s wrong with this one?” After sharing Colton’s story, Todd was emailed a link to a news video about a girl named Akiane Kramarik. Also at the age of four, the girl started sharing stories about her glimpse of Heaven. This young girl was growing up in a home that God was not present, His name was never spoken. Akiane started to sketch, paint, and write poetry soon after. Her paintings are incredible. At the age of 8, she painted a portrait of Jesus looking “straight at the camera” (as Todd put it). Todd saw the painting and brought Colton to the computer to find out “what’s wrong with this one.” Colton was silent and said that the picture is right. After finishing the book, I quickly got out my computer to search for a color copy of the painting (a black and  white copy is in the photo section of the book). Colton described His eyes as “so pretty.” I wanted to see what he had seen. And I am in awe of His beauty, and the simple fact that an 8 year old child created such a piece of art. Heaven used to be something that I wasn’t too sure about, and although I do not know exactly what it will be like, I am not afraid of it anymore. From what I read of Colton’s experience, Heaven is a place of beauty and is far greater than I could have ever dreamed it to be. God is absolutely amazing and brought me this book at just the right time. His love for each of His children is far more than I could ask for.

"Prince of Peace"

"In this life I will stand"

So it’s Wednesday! One of my favorite days of the week! Not only is it the middle of the week, it is the night of The Well!! Oh how I love being able to hang out with friends (my second family), and just be able to worship God and learn more about Him and His Word, I have talked about Worship in a previous blog post and the fact that it is was beyond just that of a music time praising God, but the way we live out our lives and the plans He has for us. Worship is something that I am passionate about. And I mean all aspects, with emphasis on the music portion. During Worship tonight Transit* Band played “You Hold Me Now,” a song that they’ve played before and has become one of my favorites. But tonight as I was singing my heart out to God, this song brought a new meaning to my life. Just a little background for those who don’t know, I have been sick and fighting kidney infections and inflammations and just a bunch of yucky things that I would not wish upon anyone. But tonight before service, Pastor Travis asked how I was feeling and I was honest and told him how I had gone for chest x-rays today. He asked if I should even been there. Of course my answer was, “no probably not.” And he called me dedicated. When they played “You Hold Me Now” during worship and we got to the part that says:

“In this life I will stand

Through my joy and pain

Knowing there’s a greater day

There’s a hope that never fails”

That says it all. Even though I am in physical pain and sick I still stand to Worship and praise God who deserves so much more. Yes, going to The Well is enjoyable because the people there are like family and I love getting to chat and just chill. But beyond that getting to be in the presence of such an incredible God with my second family is indescribable; to be able to experience His love and hear His Word is beyond what words can describe. That verse is why I stand there and Worship a God who is deserving of so much more. There is a hope that never fails. I absolutely LOVE the song and the chorus is great too.

“No weeping, no hurt or pain

No suffering You hold me now

You hold me now

No darkness, no sick or lame

No hiding You hold me now

You hold me now”

Like I said, it is one of my favorite Worship songs and means a lot to me. God is amazing beyond all word and His love is never failing. I hope that everyone has an absolutely amazing week.

Just Something I Enjoy

Everyone has their things that they are really good at, or even just enjoy doing. I absolutely love music and anything that has something to do with music. I enjoy writing and sharing my stories with others. Something else that I enjoy is taking pictures. Not very many people know this about me and I am not all that great at it. I have never taken a photo class in my life. But if you give me a camera and the oportunity to shoot a sunset, rain, or anything of the such, I will go nuts. As I have said before, my parents bought a new house. and the views are absolutely amazing. The stars in the deep night sky are incredible and the beautiful Arizona sunset is nothing like I ever imagined. I was able to capture a sunset and a rainy afternoon. Hope you enjoy the photos from the new house. :)

Ladie's Night

I want to start out this post by thanking Pastor Travis for all that he does for The Well. And for last night’s message. It is exactly what I needed to hear. I pray that by writing and reflecting, I can have the words that someone else may need to hear, as well. The key point of the message made me cry. “You are valuable.” Travis said something to that effect and my eyes started to water. Although the message was in regards to romantic relationships and not necessarily familial and friend relationships, I have been down and hearing that I am valuable is an incredible feeling. The message last night was titled: “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Ways.” The main verses for the night came from Proverbs 31:10-30. It discusses the Bible’s version of a good wife. The first way to lose a guy is to not have character. It is important to remember that character is who you really are; the way that you are when no one is around and in stressful situations. Being addicted to drama is the second way to lose a guy. This of course is self-explanatory. The third way to lose a guy is to be a primadonna and not work. Work in this statement carries two meanings the literal one that involves a job, and the relational work that is needed in order to keep a relationship healthy. When I comes to the literal work, as women we need to remember that anything a man can do in the corporate world, we can do it just as well. The decisions made can also be a way to lose a guy. One of the example questions Travis used in his message was, “Should I really be alone with this guy?” And since I am being as honest as possible in this blog, I am going to tell you that I laughed when he said that. I have found myself in situations that this question comes up. the last time this type of situation occurred, I knew that the obvious answer was no, but I still found myself there alone with him. Well it turns out that the very day I asked myself this, is the day that everything between us fell apart. I would love to say that things have since gotten better but that would be a lie. Someday we will be friends again, but it will take work and time from both sides. The fifth way to lose a guy is to think only about you. A woman of God is caring and loving towards other. The sixth way to lose a guy is to not respect yourself. You will get the same respect from guys that you give yourself. The way you dress and act show the amount of respect you do or do not have for yourself. We women have the right to treat ourselves like royalty. But when doing so it is important to not get wrapped up in yourself, caring for others is part of being a Godly woman. Dating losers is the seventh way to lose a guy. You deserve the man of your dreams and to not have to settle for a cheeseburger when you ordered the steak. The eighth way to lose a guy is to be weak. Although we live in a society that say differently, “being single is not a symptom, it is a season.” Everyone has to go through it. And it is in this season that you learn to be the wife you will be in the future when the time is right. A Godly woman does not lose her dignity while waiting for Mr. Right. Speaking before thinking is the ninth way to lose a guy. Emotions are a part of who we are but it is important to not let your emotions control you. “Your emotions are a great fried, but a terrible master.” The tenth and final way to lose a guy is to not fear God. Eve’s first relationship was with God, not Adam. He then took her to Adam. This is important because during the season of being single, God is working on molding you to be the woman He needs you to be. Shaping you to be the wife your husband needs. And it is when the timing is right that He brings Mr. Right in to the picture. God is amazing and has big plans for each individual. It is important to not bypass the process. Make sure God is in control.

Be a woman worth bragging about.

Writing for a Purpose

Yesterday, I sat down and wrote about Wednesday’s message from The Well. Later in the evening I was talking to a good friend who said that it was exactly what she needed to hear. And although I have a lot going on, it made me smile through the pain to know that my blog is serving its purpose. I started this blog to share my stories of my life, my experiences, and my journey with Christ. By sharing these stories, I hope to be the light that others need. Or to even just write something that they needed to hear. I am ecstatic to know that I have readers and to know that I can change someone’s day with the words I write. Not very many people know this, but writing is something that I was never very good at growing up. However, it has become something I enjoy greatly and that helps me take a quiet moment to meditate, to pray, and to process life lessons. I am so thankful that God has given me this gift of being able to use my words to reach others like He uses His words to reach out to us. He is amazing. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Quit Looking

Hello readers! It’s been a while, and I’m sorry. I know that being busy is not an excuse, but busy does not even begin to describe the last couple of weeks. Work is going wonderful and I absolutely love my job. My family and I will be moving this month and it is exciting to me to know that my parents finally have a home of their own; a home that they can be happy in the rest of their lives. Church is amazing, as always. And I am oh so very thankful to have a home church filled with wonderful family.



Last night was the first service of the Soap Opera series. The title for the night was “Quit Looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right!” The title alone is incredible. At one point, Travis said something about becoming Mrs. Right instead of looking for Mr. Right. This is something that I have tried to do multiple times. I recently even told a guy friend that I needed to work on me before getting in to a relationship. And working on me and my relationship with God has been going pretty well. I have grown so much, and am still growing. Of course I’ve had my ups and downs, but I’m human and that’s normal. Last night, my eyes were opened to four areas that need to be spread out before the Lord. Some I knew, others I did not even think of. The first area of life to give to God is money and debt. When getting in a romantic relationship that leads to marriage, you marry that person and in turn inherit their debt. They inherit yours as well. Because of this, it is important to be open and honest with each other and God about the money situation. The number one cause of divorce is money. You don’t want to be another one of those statistics. The second area to bring to the Lord is family issues; both with your family and your significant other’s. Family is very important and every family has their little quirks. I absolutely adore my family but we don’t always get along. Before I can Mrs. Right I need to work things out with my family. Bad habits and personal immaturity belong to the third area of life to spread out before the Lord. A key note here is that maturity is not age, it is character. The ultimate question to ask prior to a relationship with someone is, “Do I want to marry someone like that?” If the answer is no, then do not even begin and relationship. This made me think of one of my posts about doubt and God’s will. If there is doubt in a relationship, it will lead to heartache because it is not God’s will. The way around heartache is to wait for God’s direction. The fourth and final area discussed last night is past relationships and sexual sin. It is important to remember that there is no sin too big or too dirty for God to forgive. Confess. Repent. Repeat. Bring it all to God so He can help you to become Mr. or Mrs. Right and He will lead you to your significant other when the time is right. Like I’ve reminded myself numerous times, it is important to become a better me so I can be better for Mr. Right. God is incredible and His love immeasurable.

Like I Don't Belong

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong? Like the people around you don’t care that you are there or just don’t want you there? Like you can do nothing right no matter how hard you try? Like everything just seems to be going wrong? Yeah, me too. That’s kind of where I am at right now. I started my externship this week at the pediatrics office I was already working at. Everything was going really well. And then today, one doctor who wasn’t even there sent an email to the office manager about something I did “wrong” (I followed the instructions I was given). The other doctor listened to every single word I said while taking a phone call and she critiqued it. I did just as the other front office girls were doing. But somehow I was wrong. One of the front office girls has been off this week until today and she talked down to me and had me doing all the things she didn’t feel like doing. She had been there all of five minutes and was demanding that I pull charts for Monday’s appointments. I did because I was already planning on doing so; I just ended up having to sooner than anticipated.


I was able to leave on the early side and was hoping to get home and sleep. But I couldn’t fall asleep. I then got a text from my mom; I was finally going to get to see the house that she and my dad had bought! Although I was (still am) exhausted and not feeling well, I was thrilled to finally see my new home! Well when I got there, it didn’t feel like home. Yes, the house is empty so once we get our things there it will (hopefully) feel more like home. But I just didn’t feel like I belonged there. And then in the car on the way to dinner after, my parents asked my youngest sister her opinion of the house and if she could see herself living there for the next 8-10 years. I was the only other one in the car and my mom said, “I’m not going to even ask Heather because we don’t know how long she’ll be living there.” I wanted to jump out of the moving vehicle and just run away. I didn’t want to go to dinner. Once at dinner everyone proceeded to discuss the house, and I sat quietly in my seat, as if I wasn’t there. When I would try to say something, no one would hear me. Again I felt as though I was not welcome. I don’t quite understand how things could go from decent to then feel alone again. I know that I am not. I know that I have a relationship with God and that I should be leaning on Him for my strength and guidance. I know that I have a church family that loves me and that are there for me through anything. But why do I feel so alone?!?

My experience at dinner tonight and at the new house reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back. It is called “Silent Existence” and is probably my favorite of any of the poems I have ever written.

Silent Existence

I stand in the middle of a crowded room

I scream at the top of my lungs

No one hears me

They continue about their business

I scream again
With the same response, I start to cry
The tear have become uncontrollable

I want to stop but I just can’t

Time continues and I get no response

I have become invisible,

Silent to all eyes and ears

Come Home

Last night, I made my Transit* Band debut! And it was amazing being up on stage during worship! Music is something that I am very passionate about and I have missed it oh so very much. However exciting this may be, it was not the highlight of my night. The best part of the night was that my sister came. Although she left after worship, she came. And I could not be more excited. It broke my heart when she left. I was still on stage and I just wanted to run after her and beg her to stay. After service and talking to Pastor Travis and others I realized how big of a step it was for her to just be there. Soon my sadness and disappointment that she didn’t stay was replaced by joy, excitement, and hope that the little bit she saw makes her want to come back. I love my sister dearly and it would mean the world to me if she would just “come home.”


The series we are currently in: “Come Home” has been absolutely incredible. I have a relationship with God and I no longer feel lost, but last night it service Pastor Travis said that God wants three things for each of us. The one that stood out most to me is “He wants to bring you peace.”Peace is something I have struggled with the past week and a half or so. I have become so stressed and it feels like major chaos. I know that I need to give it all to God, and I am working on that. But last night when Pastor Travis said, “He wants to bring you peace” I started to tear up. It helped me to realize that even though it is too big for me to handle on my own, nothing is too big for God. “I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Perfecting the Fake Smile

Because I am still having a difficult time finding the words to say what’s on my mind, I have continued to search old documents for topics to reuse. I have stumbled across something that wasn’t necessarily about this topic but it made me think of it: perfecting the fake smile. I hate driving, but sometimes I just need to go for a ride. Get away for a minute. I did this last night with my best friend. We drove for a while. And I talked, cried, laughed, and talked some more. She just kept the car going and listened. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until we were there. For the longest time, I was waking up broken and hurt. And felt as though I had to hide it. I perfected the fake smile to the point that even my best friend couldn’t tell the difference between real and fake. A few days ago, I started to put that fake smile back on.  I don’t even know why. Everything in life is going quite well. There’s a bit of stress, but that’s normal; life can be stressful sometimes. Every single person deals with stress differently, turns out that I hold it all in until I get to that breaking point, and I just pile it on some more. I know that I need to take it to God. And ask Him to help me through this. Ask Him to give me peace. But I almost feel like I can do it on my own and I really don’t want to bother Him with something so silly.  Call me crazy, but I’m headstrong like that. Travis has talked about it before during his sermon on 320 Faith.  I know that God’s power is immeasurable and I can’t do this without Him, no matter how hard I try. I feel as though this realization is the first step to turning back to Him and giving it all to God. His love is amazing.

Chaos is a Blessing

Hello readers. It’s been a while and for that I am truly sorry. I am not sure why exactly, but when I sit down to write, I am unable to find the words. While thinking, I have been looking at old documents saved on my computer and I would like to share something that was titled, “Blog 1.” When I read it, I got a little teary eyed. I hope you enjoy.

The title for my blog, “Blessings of a Chaotic Life,” came to mind at the perfect time. After thinking about it, it’s kind of ironic isn’t it? I mean a blessed chaotic life; you would think that chaos would not be a blessing. But I have come to realize that it is a blessing, chaos is a blessing! “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). My life has always been oh so very chaotic, but oh so very blessed. Promises have been made, promises have been broken. With broken promises often times comes a broken heart. Time after time a heart breaks and then is mended. Life is not always perfect. Many hectic moments occur. My life the past week is the perfect example of blessed chaos. Everyone makes mistakes; I am no different than anyone else. Sunday before Christmas, I made the biggest mistake of my life so far. It is definitely not one of my proudest moments, from then on my week went downhill. My world started to fall apart. On Christmas Eve, my mom got a call; my aunt was in the hospital. She had diabetic ulcers and was not in very good shape. I was able to play Santa’s elf that day and wrap the gifts for my siblings. That night we spent a very chaotic couple of hours with extended family, way too much stress for a holiday. Christmas day I went and visited my aunt then hung out with my best friend. Saturday added so much more chaos than I had ever expected. A promise was broken and my heart was ripped out of my chest. It is honestly all a blur, which I am kind of glad. When I got home, I tore apart my room. Throwing pictures and objects across the room, and kicking them under things. (I didn’t break any frames.) My family was right there wanting to help me, but all I could do was cry and run away. I let no one close enough to touch me. I soon got on the computer changing things on there and deleting the pictures of him. My mom, sister, and brother got rid of all of the things that reminded me of him. (I know where to find it all though, Anthony’s room in a trash bag). My mom and dad cleared my computer of all things Kevin. Texts went out to the important people. And phone calls were made. I felt so alone. I soon figured out how wrong I was. I am so thankful that God has given me some pretty amazing people who love me. My mother, who is my support, I can tell her anything and she has always loved and provided for me and always will. My father, who is my protector, he takes care of the material things I need in life to survive. My sister, Courtni, is my best friend. No matter what happens, we will always have each other. My brother, Anthony, is not like your typical little brother. He may be a pest sometimes but he is a huge support in my life. Rebecca has helped me to learn about my passion for kids and caring for others. Suzy, my best friend who might as well be my blood sister, has been a big support through troubling times that I never thought I could have gotten through by myself. Dom, my “big brother,” has taken care of me and has become a part of my family. My good friend Joe who was the first person I actually talked to after the breakup. He has been a huge support and is there for me whenever I need to talk. He has given me some pretty amazing advice. Another person who has helped me through it all, and has gotten me to laugh so hard that my cheeks hurt, would be my friend Jason. I never knew that I could sit in Starbucks for so long that my hot drink would be cold and that I would need a second drink. Through the past couple of days, there have been many others who have helped me and have checked up on me to make sure I was okay. I know that this situation is not the best and that dealing with all of this could be so hard for anyone. I, again, am no different than the average person, my heart aches, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t be left alone for very long. But I am not alone I have been so blessed through this all to have realized this amazing fact. God has given me some amazing people to help me grow and to love me. I am so thankful for everyone. Even if I did not mention them, that doesn’t mean that they mean any less to me than anyone I did mention. I will get through this, and all the other trials God has planned for me down the road. I know now that I am not alone. Not only do I have God, I have all the amazing people around me. Although my life is chaotic, I am blessed with more than I had ever realized. And so it begins a blog about the blessings of a chaotic life.

Waiting

“When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait.” The key here is “just wait.”  If you know me at all, you know that I am not a very patient person. Waiting is not easy. Today’s devotional discussed waiting for God to give clear directions for your life. Never run on an impulse feeling, and know that when there is even the slightest doubt, it is not God’s will. When you wait for God to give you direction, He will get you there without heartache and disappointment. I know that I am probably not the only one that has a strong desire to know what happens next, what happens in the future, and so on. Because of my desire to get “there” right now, wherever “there” may be, I have suffered much heartache and disappointment. Right before graduating high school I got in to a relationship with a guy that I thought was “the one.” Obviously, I was wrong. But from that relationship I am still learning about patience and the need to follow God’s will, rather than jumping ahead of His timing. I was so dead set on finishing high school, getting an accounting degree that normally takes 5 years done in 3.5, and being married the last semester of school that I didn’t see what I do now. There was doubt within the relationship. My life had seemed perfect and on track with my plan, and it fell apart.  I was left with heartache and disappointment. I know now that I need to wait for God’s direction. Because of my heartache and disappointment, I changed everything on impulse. After two years I am finally getting back on track, God’s track. Although it is not easy, I am waiting for His direction. Before tonight I never saw the correlation between waiting for His guidance and heartache. But now that I do, I will work that much harder on my patience and waiting. He is patient with us, and we should have no problem waiting for His timing. It will be worth it.

Words

“When a man gets to God, it is by the most simple way – words.” –Oswald Chambers


This was the last sentence in the devotional for today. Not sure why exactly, but this is also the sentence that stuck out most to me. Maybe because it is the simple truth or for the simple fact that words in general have an impact on life and the way things are perceived. Words can be used to hurt, cheer up, calm down, discipline, anger, and encourage someone. God uses His words to save, to teach, and to guide. Prior to being saved, the words in the Bible are just that, words. It seems simple but in reality it is not until we are baptized by the Holy Spirit that we see the true meaning behind those many words. Jesus said, “The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life” (John 6:63). Because of this, as we re-read stories in the Bible, we see them in new light. God has given us the Bible, His Word, to speak to us. God is amazing and it is through Him that we have eternal life. And I am in awe of Him and His immeasurable power.

Going Without Knowing

Last night I started a devotional that I have had for over two years now. I had never started it for silly reasons. The first is that it is dated and I did not want to start in the middle of the year. The second is that it was a gift from my now ex-boyfriend, the new year started and I despised him and everything he had ever given me. I have since gotten past that hatred and decided that it was time to start. The devotional for today was definitely a relevant topic to my life at the moment. You may not have read it, but I posted last night about goals for the year, one of them being to start the process of completing my associate’s degree.  I started looking on line to figure out what program and essentially which advisor to call. And then I got stuck. I have it down to two different programs, and I don’t know which one would be best. Today’s devotional was all about “going out without knowing.” I, being the type of person that plans everything, am terrified to go without knowing. I know that it is important to trust God. He has a plan and He knows what happens next. I know that He will reveal each step of my life when the time is right. But right now I am scared that I do not know what happens next, since I am so close to completing the classes at Pima Medical. I have decided to give God everything I am and to let Him have full control. It is very difficult to not take that back and try to figure this all out on my own. I trust Him and know that He has great plans for my life. And I seek His guidance as I enter this next chapter in my life. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for me.

It's a New Year with New Goals

Happy New Year!!

Welcome 2011, you are a new beginning. Every year I write a list of goals for the year. Rarely do I look at it once all is said and done. Probably because my goals are too easy, unrealistic, or not what I truly desire. I want to change that. I do not want to sit here and write another list that will be forgotten by tomorrow night. I want to set goals that I know won’t necessarily be easy, that will challenge me but that I will not forget and that I will do my best to reach them.

My first goal is to finish my classes at Pima Medical with all A’s. And to put forth every effort in to not getting “senioritis” these last two weeks before extern. My second goal is to get started on finishing up my Associates Degree. This means taking the time to make phone calls and registering for classes. A third goal for this year is to write every day. Maybe not post every day, but sit and write every single one of the 365 days in 2011. My fourth goal is to work on achieving 320 Faith. To know that no matter my past, God forgives me, loves me, and has a plan for me. The fifth and final goal I have for 2011 is to be even closer to my family. Yes, we have our moments that we don’t always get along, but family is important. Mine has been there for me through some pretty tough times and have put up with a lot from me. I am eternally grateful for them.

I hope everyone has an amazing year and lives every day as if it is their last.

Christmas Vacation 2010

It's been too long since I last wrote. I am not one for excuses, but I do have a good reason for not posting: week long family vacation. That's right a whole week with the family spent in California. I wanted to write a post and include some pictures from my week even though it does not have a huge significance in my faith journey. I did however learn a few things:

1. Do not go to Disneyland, California Adventure, and Universal Studios over Christmas.

2. Never go on a ride with the Rice family...there is a 90% chance you will get stuck.

3. Pouring rain does not keep people out of the Disney Parks.

4. The best place to meet characters is Goofy's kitchen.

5. Children will "accidentally" pull the fire alarm, evacuating an entire hotel.

6. The first thing you grab when the alarm goes off says a lot about you...I grabbed a hairbrush.

7. The "First in Line" pass at Universal does not really get you far when half of the park visitors have one.

8. The crash scene from "War of the Worlds" is a real 747 torn apart. The set is still on Universal's backlot.

9. My favorite place to be is still the beach. Even when it is the end of December and super cold and windy.

10. It is so nice to be home.



(My youngest sister dancing in the car on the way to California)