Perfecting the Fake Smile

Because I am still having a difficult time finding the words to say what’s on my mind, I have continued to search old documents for topics to reuse. I have stumbled across something that wasn’t necessarily about this topic but it made me think of it: perfecting the fake smile. I hate driving, but sometimes I just need to go for a ride. Get away for a minute. I did this last night with my best friend. We drove for a while. And I talked, cried, laughed, and talked some more. She just kept the car going and listened. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until we were there. For the longest time, I was waking up broken and hurt. And felt as though I had to hide it. I perfected the fake smile to the point that even my best friend couldn’t tell the difference between real and fake. A few days ago, I started to put that fake smile back on.  I don’t even know why. Everything in life is going quite well. There’s a bit of stress, but that’s normal; life can be stressful sometimes. Every single person deals with stress differently, turns out that I hold it all in until I get to that breaking point, and I just pile it on some more. I know that I need to take it to God. And ask Him to help me through this. Ask Him to give me peace. But I almost feel like I can do it on my own and I really don’t want to bother Him with something so silly.  Call me crazy, but I’m headstrong like that. Travis has talked about it before during his sermon on 320 Faith.  I know that God’s power is immeasurable and I can’t do this without Him, no matter how hard I try. I feel as though this realization is the first step to turning back to Him and giving it all to God. His love is amazing.